Waking Up
by LupinTonks85
Summary: A prequel to "A Picture is Worth a Thousand Wanks" a Harry/Remus established relationship fic with a rating of M!


Title: Waking Up

Author: B. Snow

Pairing: Harry/Remus

Rating: T

Summary: A prequel to "A Picture is Worth a Thousand Wanks" which is Harry/Remus, established relationship M

Warnings: some language, Harry/Draco mentioned

Disclaimer: These characters belong to JK Rowling

A/N: Written as a get-well present. ;)

This was NOT written but me but by my good friend, B. Snow. She gave me permission to post on my account with my story so others can easily find it and enjoy it. She was nice enough to write this wonderful fic for me when I had surgery a few years ago. Thank you B!

Harry opened his eyes to an unfamiliar ceiling. He frowned, then groaned as he turned his head. His neck and back ached, and he didn't recognize the walls or the nightstand, but the smell of the place told him that he was in an infirmary.

He tried to think back to what might have put him there, but the last memory he had was of him and Remus having a row in the kitchen of No. 12 Grimmauld Place. He didn't remember what they'd been shouting about, just that he'd felt frightened, which didn't make any sense at all – Remus would never hurt him, not in human form, and not in wolf form either, as long as he kept taking the Wolfsbane.

The barely-remembered fear and panic skirted the edges of his mind as he tried to sit up, then took over when he found he couldn't move his legs. He tried to shout for help, but his voice was hoarse and his throat felt as if it were made of sand. He struggled harder and managed to pull himself up on his elbows, then nearly laughed with relief when he saw the cause of his "paralysis": Remus Lupin, sitting in a chair next to Harry's hospital bed, asleep with his upper body lying across Harry's legs.

Harry sat up slowly, careful not to wake him. He twisted his body, trying to stretch out his aching back, and then bent forward to take a closer look at Remus. His pallor contrasted with the dark circles under his eyes and grey stubble across the lower half of his face. Harry sucked in a breath. The only time Remus had ever looked this bad was after Sirius had gone through the veil.

Remus' greying hair was a mess, and Harry stretched his hand towards it, then hesitated. He knew Remus wouldn't let him do this if he were awake...so he'd better make sure Remus didn't wake up. Softly, he rubbed a few strands of the hair between his fingers, enjoying the silky feel, then stroked the hair at Remus' temple. With one finger, he traced a path over Remus' cheekbone, then snatched his hand back as Remus jerked awake.

"Harry?"

Remus looked even worse awake than he had asleep, but Harry forced a smile for him. "Hey, Remus. Are you all right?"

"Me?" Remus sat up, wincing, and held his hand out. Harry grasped it and squeezed. "You're the one we were worried about, cub. Harry," he corrected, shaking his head.

"I'm still here." Harry tugged a bit, trying to pull Remus closer, but Remus stiffened and dropped his hand.

"I'll go let the Healer know you're awake," he said, standing up and leaving the room.

Harry stared at his hand on the blankets and pushed back the disappointment he felt. And when Remus returned with the Healer, who poked and prodded and asked questions, Harry tried to concentrate on his physical pain only.

"Do you remember what happened?" the Healer asked, passing the lit tip of his wand back and forth in front of Harry's eyes.

"I remember sh—talking with Remus at home, and...that's it," Harry said, meeting Remus' eyes. He hoped he wouldn't see guilt there –god, if Remus had somehow lost his temper to the point that he'd put Harry in hospital, Harry didn't want to know about it. But Remus just looked worried, and in fact, was even whiter than when he'd woken up. As Harry watched, he drifted quietly into a chair. "Remus? Are you all right? Is he all right?" Harry asked the Healer worriedly, pointing at Remus.

"He'd be fine if he'd go home and get some rest," the Healer said in peevish tones.

"I'll go when Harry goes."

"When will that be?" Harry asked.

"In a few days, now that you're awake. You had severe spell damage, so we put you into a magically-induced coma in order to heal the worst of it. It should have lasted only two days, but you were unconscious for another three. Frankly, we were amazed that you were even still alive when Mr. Lupin brought you in."

Harry tried hard to remember that last day. He and Remus had been arguing, but he'd felt good, even confident, at first..."Oh! I...erm. I had taken Felix Felicis earlier that day," Harry admitted, remembering.

The Healer's eyebrows went up. "That could explain it," he nodded. "You must have been able to block or dodge the curses just enough to minimize the damage."

"So he'll be all right?" Remus asked from his chair.

"He'll feel some pain as he continues to heal, but the permanent damage should be minimal. We'll know in a few days."

"Thank you." Remus put his face in his hands. The Healer nodded and left the room, and Harry rounded on Remus.

"Tell me what happened," he demanded.

Remus raised his head. "Bellatrix got into the house somehow and caught us both by surprise. She was about to finish you off when Tonks and Kingsley arrived and nearly blasted her through the wall."

Harry blinked. A shrieking mouth in a white face surrounded by a tangle of black hair. Curses flying through the air, knocking him down, paralysing him, pain so strong he couldn't even scream. Remus, standing between him and his attacker. "You got hurt, too."

"Nothing like what you suffered. She was after you. I was just an annoyance." He smiled wanly, and Harry climbed out of bed. "No, cu—Harry, get back into bed. You'll undo all the healing."

But Harry walked over to Remus, sat on his lap, and wrapped his arms around his neck.

"Harry. Don't do this," Remus groaned, trying to push Harry off of his lap.

"Remus. Quit telling me what to do," Harry said, before leaning forward and kissing him. He felt Remus' hands tighten on his hips, and then his arms went around Harry. Harry sighed into Remus' mouth and when he felt Remus try to pull back, he pushed forward, pressing against him. Finally, Remus turned his head, panting. "Harry," he began, before the door swung open.

"Harry? They said you were awake..." Molly Weasley said, bustling into the room, then stopped dead when she saw Harry on Remus' lap. She blinked a few times, then her eyes narrowed. "Harry, you shouldn't be out of bed. Remus, may I have a word with you out in the hallway, please?"

Harry slid off of Remus' lap. "I know what you're going to say to him, Mrs. Weasley. That he's too old, that he's practically a father to me, that I deserve better than a broken-down old werewolf. Believe me, it's nothing that Remus hasn't already told me himself."

"Harry, dear, you're still ill—"

"My mind. Is fine. I know what I'm saying." He took a deep breath and then sighed. "Mrs. Weasley—Molly." He put a hand on her shoulder. "I know you have my best interests at heart. You always have." Molly smiled and patted his hand. "But I know what I want." He looked over at Remus, who remained slumped in the chair. "I've wanted it for quite awhile now."

Molly's brows drew together. "Harry, it's just not right. He over twenty years older than you are; he knew you when you were thirteen—"

"That's what he said a month ago, when I first tried to get him into bed. He pushed me away and said I made him feel like a paedophile."

"Harry—"

"No, Remus. She should know the whole story before she goes passing judgment." He turned back to Molly, who was blushing bright red, but standing her ground. "So what if he's older? He understands what I've been through, what it's like to lose people, to be alone. People my own age just feel too young for me, because right now I feel about a thousand years old. Oh, fuck." Harry's eyes rolled back in his head and he swayed on his feet. Molly and Remus both rushed forward, but Remus got there first, catching Harry before he hit the ground.

"Harry, love, you're overexerting yourself," Molly said, pulling back the covers.

"She's right; please, just get back in bed," Remus agreed.

"Yeah, okay." Harry nodded and allowed Remus to help him under the covers.

"I'll go get a Healer," Molly said, her face white, and rushed out of the room. Harry lay on his side, hands curled into his stomach. He pulled one out to grip Remus' hand again and this time, when he tugged, Remus came closer.

"Remus," he whispered.

"I'm here, cub."

"You really..." He winced and shut his eyes. "You really could never be my lover? You just think of me as your son?"

"God, Harry," Remus said, stroking Harry's hair. "I wish I did just think of you as my son. I hate myself for wanting you, and I wish I could stop. That's why—"

"That's why you were going to leave, to move out of the house." Harry's eyes were open and clear, glaring accusingly at Remus, who started in surprise.

"You faked that just now? You lying little—"

"Lying's the only way I can get you to tell the truth!" Harry shouted, sitting up in the bed.

"Dammit, Harry, you frightened me!" He tried to pull away, but Harry wouldn't let go.

"You frightened me, too!" he shouted. "I remember, now; just before Bellatrix came in, you'd said you were leaving and I panicked, and when she came through that door and started throwing hexes, I just froze up." Remus flinched, but Harry went on. "And you pushed me down and stood in front of me." He continued more quietly. "You love me, Remus. Please don't leave me."

"But, you and Draco—"

Harry laughed. "Oh, that. It's not what you think."

"It's difficult to misinterpret the two of you fucking on every piece of furniture in the house."

Harry grinned. Remus sounded annoyed; possibly even jealous, and for the first time since waking up, Harry felt optimistic. "I started up with Draco because you'd told me you couldn't see me as anything but a child," Harry explained. "So I decided that you needed your eyes opened, to see me as an adult. As someone who has sex and likes it, who even experiments a bit. I thought that leaving the photos lying around would be enough, but you never mentioned them—oh!" Harry blinked. "God, I remember now; that's why I took the Felix – because I knew you'd come home and I wanted it all timed perfectly." He rubbed his thumb over Remus' knuckles. "So do you still think of me as a child?"

"No. You made your point." Remus sounded tired.

"So you and I can be together now."

"I can't help feeling as if it's still wrong. Like you're looking for a father, not a lover."

"Why can't you be both?" Remus could only blink and stare, so Harry pressed on. "No, look, what I mean is, I know who my father was, and I love him, and you're not him. I do like the fact that you're older than I am," he confessed, shrugging. "And you do make me feel safe, and protected. So why can't I have both the safe feelings and great sex? Why does it have to be one or the other?"

"Because it's not...you shouldn't...I...oh, sod it." He shook his head.

"You're not my father, Remus, and I'm over the age of consent. We're not doing anything illegal. Or immoral." Harry sat on edge of the bed, wrapping his arms around Remus' waist and pulling him between his knees. "Did you see the photos?"

Remus snorted. "You left them on the kitchen table; of course I saw them."

"Did you like them?"

"God help me, yes." He shook his head, then looked at Harry and said, "I kept one."

Harry kissed Remus' chest and ran his hands up his back. "Which one?"

"The one of you, all spread out on the bed..."

"Mmm. I remember that. I'd like you to do that to me, when I'm well again." Remus looked so lost and hungry that Harry laughed softly and wrapped his legs around Remus', pulling him closer. "Remus, nothing we do together is wrong, not if we both want it." He lifted Remus' hand to his mouth and kissed the knuckles. "I want it. And I know you do, too."

Remus shook his head, but Harry could see him crumbling. "You do deserve more than a broken-down werewolf."

Harry grinned. "That's the same excuse you gave Tonks."

"And I was right. Look how well that turned out."

"Because you didn't love her. But you love me." Remus stared at Harry but didn't deny it. "I love you, too. So you can leave now, and be cold and lonely the rest of your life, but just know that you'll be making me cold and lonely the rest of my life, too." Harry leaned back and tried to look sad and pathetic. "Do you really want that on your conscience?"

Remus' lips curved up slightly. "Manipulative brat. It's not surprising that you nearly got sorted into Slytherin." He hesitated a moment, then said, "All right, we'll see. But if you want out, you've got to say something and not worry about me or my feelings, do you understand?"

Harry frowned and opened his mouth, then shut it and smiled. "I understand," he said, and kissed Remus again. "Now, get out."

"What?"

"Go home and get some real sleep. I'll be home in a day or two, and I want you to be...healthy," he said, blatantly flicking his eyes down to Remus' crotch and back up to his face.

Remus chuckled. "I'd better get out before Molly gets back, anyway, or she'll have my hide."

"Don't worry about it. I Obliviated her on her way out."

Remus shook his head. "Unbelievable."

"Thank you." Harry grinned.

"It wasn't a compliment." But Remus smiled. "See you at home, then," he said, before Disapparating.

"See you at home," Harry whispered to himself, smiling.


End file.
